I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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