and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
