yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
