When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
