If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
