She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
