god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I need moral support for this bender
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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