Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hippo gnu deer
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My bed smells like the plague
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize