I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
