Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
