i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
