So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
