then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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