I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
