quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
