Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize