TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
