honey bunches of taint.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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