dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
