i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's rum buckets o'clock
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
