i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
third nipple confirmed
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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