if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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