I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
