you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
