five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
