I'm drive I can fine osifer
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize