i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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