At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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