Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
