So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
