U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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