he thought i was a dude.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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