are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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