so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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