I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I believe in your delicious
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
