spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
