I'm lost and stupid without you.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
