I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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