He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
