Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
