when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
