Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
