We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize