You can't special order awesome
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
