worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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