You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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