Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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