Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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