he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
