He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
