I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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