If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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