Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
