You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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