Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
