Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
