If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
please come you make the beer taste better
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
