I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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