my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just puked most of my soul out..
that may or may not have been my penis.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
