Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
