This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize