I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
