Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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