I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
