I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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