Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
