It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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